I FEEL SO POWERFUL....thats cause I am

Re-cap of Recent events:

-Senior Year in high school

-Flag girl for school's marching band

-got with the boy who liked me in 10th grade,said he loved me in 11th grade and then dumped me after a month in the 12th because he said our relationship became about sex.then gets with the freshman slut(this is sooo ture.everyone knows it) who is his 'rookie' in the band(he's in the horn section)

-joined City at Peace(look it up!)

-still not living with my mom

-found out i have some HATERS

  

  Soooo...that's just a summary of it all.Details would require two 'Health&Wellness' days and an endless supply of my fave foods.Long story short...now that ive taken a look at all the crap thats been going on..I truly am a strong individual.The way ive handled everything.I feel so powerful....

I've Always Thought George Clooney was a total HOTTIE.......and I would totally do Kirsten Stewart

Recently, I've gotten involved with a guy 13 years my senior(don't judge) and I just don't know why haven't just let it go yet. Maybe I find this compelling and interesting. Doing it just to say I've done it but.....he's fallin for me.

I know.....

At this point, I'm still not completely over the age difference and he does drink and smoke which I totally dislike but he's abated that.(Hey,look at me! Using my new vocabulary words.Dr. K should see me now)

But, besides that. I feel like at this point, all I do is attract men. To me, that's not all fine and dandy. I want guys my age or at least within the same age 'group'. Since I've recently let go of my three ghost from Christmas past...my mind is a little bit clearer. I still have three males on my plate though.(and this is why I think my number is three.Everything has always come to me in threes) I have Austin, Eric and now a recent interest De'Vanti. Austin has little to no hope with being in a real relationship with me and yet again he's already fallin for me too.(im not trying to be ostentatious[new vocab.go me!] but its the truth. Eric...you already know (most) of his story. And now De'Vanti. Safe to say he still has that slight 'new toy' feel. Not completely though. Only because we went to the same Junior High so his face is familiar.

But the REAL dilemma is...I don't think I meant to have male-female sex. I haven't tried female-female but I think I might try it.soon. I have some to this conclusion because out of the all the times(i can still count on my fingers) I've had sex...I havent cum! NOT ONCE! And makes me just want to give up on sex all together. The catch is though,I know for a fact I'm NOT BI. I honestly can't be in a relationship with a female but I could see my self having sex with one. What makes me feel like I'm not alone is this documentary I watched earlier last month called "The Happy Hooker" about a well-known woman of her time Xaviera Hollander.( I don't feel like going into detail about her so do your research if you really want to know more) Since I've watched that documentary, It unlocked something in me that I always hid. My sexual freedom. Of course, this was more prevalent back in her time 1960's and such. I swear I belong in that era.(total hippie minus the drugs and multiple sex partners)I just know that how I view my life( my world) is not all that bad as religion has put it out to be. I shouldn't deny myself certain pleasures wither of the mind or body.


I ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE

This is One Hot ASS Rollar Coaster RiDe!!!

Summer 2010 as I know it
...is basically

OVER

and im HAPPY as can be!!

Nameste..."the.light.in.me.sees.the.light.in.you"

So...today...i.did.yoga.for.the.first.time(about a month ago).It.was.a.nice.experience.
Even.though.i.could.barely.'completely'.concentrate.because.the.livingroom.windows.were.open.and.i.had.to.
listen.to.what.the.video.was.doing.
BUT
...overall.....like.i.said.it.was.a.good.experience.and.now.im.ready.to.spread.my.new.love...

quick.update:...im.staying.with.my.mom.for.the.summer.Its.been.pretty.OK.so.far...some.financial.issues...

"Do.you.speak.Fremch.mon-sir?".....["SweetCharity"-1976]

so...ive.done.some.things.im.not.so.proud.of
some.things.that.i.said.id.never.do...


but.even.out.of.all.of.that...i.think.its.preparing.me.for.my.career.as.a.psychologist.
...ill be able to have not only empathy but a real experience

"Do.you.speak.French.mon-sir?"-["Sweet.Charity"..1976]

so..ive.done.some.things.im.not.too.proud.of.
so.ive.done.some.things.i.said.id.never.do.

its Friday...what is this Christmas you speak of?

These past few years,as christmases have come a past,I've gradually lost the "holiday spirit"

Overall...Im celebrating Kwanzaa from now on. Even if Im the only one one in my family. Atleast my ride or die will celebrate this cultural tradition with me.

I see her.
OH...i know x-mas has passed and all that good stuff and this is an old draft from the bottom of the trenches.
Au revoir


Amore, Crystal

Tough Banana Time!

This is the intro..well more of just a way for me not to forget this awesome series title...oh dang!

I gave it away so soon...well here is the intro to my up and coming series specificaly made for my rants or stories about me pushing myself and basically being.."ALL THAT I CAN BE"...so cliche right?..i know.But its true..Au revoir

Amore, Crystal

Oh My Gosh! I cant believe it!!!

  I haven't been blogging....


I have no excuse...for i know know what i do...
   sorta...

anyway....

I just got back from a week long college tour.
Now for the itinerary:

-Rutgers University
-Columbia University
-New York University
-Massachusetts's Institute of Technology
-Boston University
*Northeastern University
*Tufts University
and a walk through Harvard University

So, as you can see by those purposely put there stars..those are the colleges i liked and would like to attend.
Now don't get me wrong, all the other colleges are wonderful but as I've found out through 7 redundant admissions sessions; it's about which college is the best fit for you. Northeastern is a good fit for me because I really like Boston for starters. I really like the campus and the dorms as well. One of the freshman dorms that we saw was quite nice. The bottom floor was a cafeteria and I like the indoor vegetation as I like to call it. I mean, how many freshman can say, "my dorm has a mini rain forest inside of it and a cafeteria right under me AND [here's the best part] I'll never go hungry or die of lack of oxygen."

Tufts, unfortunately we didn't get to see a dorm but we did pass by plenty. There was a lot of renovations going on all over the place but the cafeterias looked great from the outside..lol. What I liked the most was that they offered my major that I had just the same day decided to take up. Mainly because that was one of the majors that the student who was doing the tour.She was Chinese by the way and I loved her accent. The major is: Cognitive and Brain Science. I plan to double major hopefully in Theatre or maybe English. I was going to second major in Psychology but I think Cognitive studies kinda covers that for me already.


Enough of college for now....
..Au revoir

Amour, Crystal